You might believe you're being honest and direct with your partner, friend, or family member when you talk to them—and in many ways, you probably are. But even when our words are clear, there’s often a gap between what we say and what we actually mean.

Here’s the truth: in most communication, being heard isn’t the ultimate goal. In fact, being heard alone isn’t enough. That’s why, even when your partner can repeat back exactly what you’ve said, it often doesn’t bring the relief you’re looking for. We need more.